Genesis Bible Humor

And God separated
the light from the dark . . .

We are winding down our ‘Bible Bowl’ season, and it is usually at this point that I start to get a little loopy.  By now the kids have memorized so many names, places, and events that I start to look for creative ways to channel our knowledge.  It will be no surprise that humor is my release of choice.

So for all my other friends who are studying the book of Genesis with your children, here is my collection of funnies, in chronological order, for reverence sake:

At what time of the day was Adam created? A little before Eve

Why was Adam a famous runner? Because he was first in the human race

What did Eve ask Adam during their first argument? "Adam, is there another woman?"

Did Eve never have a date with Adam? No, we think it was an apple

Where is baseball mentioned in the bible?
In the big inning (beginning) later Genesis tells us that Eve stole first and Adam stole second

What kind of car is listed in Genesis?Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the garden in a Fury

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of house and home

What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out? They really raised Cain

How long did Cain dislike his brother? As long as he was Abel

What man is known for having killed 1/4 of the world's population in one day?
Cain when he killed Abel

What did God say when Noah told him he wanted to build the ark out of bricks?
"No, Noah. Go for wood!" (Gopher wood)

How many animals did Moses take on the Ark? None. Moses didn't go on the ark, Noah did

What kind of lighting did Noah have on the ark? Flood lights

How do we know they didn't play cards in the ark? Because Noah sat on the deck

Why couldn’t they eat apples on the ark? Because they only had pairs (pears)

Where did Noah keep the bees? In the ark hives (archives)

What did the duck say when Noah gave him his lunch?
You can put this lunch on my bill

Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark? Because they were using "fowl" language

What US state is mentioned in the Genesis?Arkansas "Noah looked out of the ark and saw..."

How many people exited the ark before Noah? Three, because it says "... and Noah went forth"

Do you know who was the first Bible character in Genesis to need plastic surgery?
Abraham, his face fell

What were Lot's last words to his wife? "Honey, is someone following . . . "

You know, I looked back once while I was driving . . . . I turned into a telephone pole

Did you know Rebekah had a boyfriend before Isaac? Yeah, the Bible says “Rebekah walked to the well with a pitcher”
Were Joseph's parents cannibals? I don't know... but they did call their daughter Dinah (dinner or diner)

Who was the straightest man in the Bible? Joseph - Pharaoh made a ruler out of him

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court

He will direct his children and his household
after him to keep the way of the LORD

Genesis 18:19